The Golden Rule

Recently, I attended a church meeting where the speaker talked about the golden rule. He pointed out how some people live by the iron rule ("might makes right") or the silver rule ("do no wrong"), but fail to live by the golden rule. It re-ignited my passion for this simple, yet profound scripture:

"So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets"

- Matthew 7:12

There is great wisdom wrapped up in these 23 words. A while ago I saw a presentation given by a man who was an expert student on this concept. He highlighted several details I would not have otherwise noticed. It's by looking at the details of this passage that the true beauty of its design stands out, like seeing the beauty of a flower by examining its individual petals.

1. Act First
   Verb tense matters. The verse says that we should act first ("do", present tense) in regard to righteousness. Our action should precede that of someone else ("as you would have them do", future tense). If we are responding to someone else's action, then we are not following the golden rule. We need to be the first one to act in righteousness.
2. Act Regardless
   There is a notable absence of outcome mentioned. The verse doesn't say "do to others as you would have them do to you, and then stop if they don't do likewise". In fact, the verse mentions nothing of the other person's response. It only says that today we should act towards others as we want them to act toward us tomorrow. Tomorrow, we act toward them as we want them to act towards us the day after. Each day we act in kindness towards others, regardless of how they have responded in the past.
3. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
   This is an unstated concept that could be easily overlooked. The verse literally says we should do to others what we want them to do to us, but that's not precisely what it means. The verse is asking us to put ourselves in someone else's situation and act toward them how we'd want to be treated if we were in that situation. For instance, consider this story:
   

   There once lived a monkey and a fish. The monkey followed the golden rule, always trying to treat others as he wanted to be treated. But he sometimes applied the golden rule foolishly. Now one day a big flood came. As the threatening waters rose, the foolish monkey climbed a tree to safety. Then he looked down and saw a fish struggling in the water. He thought, "I wanted to be lifted from the water." So he reached down and grabbed the fish from the water, lifting him to safety on a high branch. Of course that didn't work. The fish died.

   The golden rule takes effort because it requires us to empathize with the other person. Our empathy is more effective the better we know the person. Therefore, to follow the golden rule we must familiarize ourselves with that other person. They become our focus. This doesn't mean that we do whatever the other person wants, such as feeding kids ice cream for dinner or avoiding difficult conversations which are necessary. What it does mean is that we ask ourselves "What would I want to be said or done for myself, if I were in their exact situation?". Pick a person, ask yourself that question, then go treat that person according to your answer.

I challenge anyone to follow this principle which Jesus taught and not be pleased with the result you see in yourself and the response you receive from others.