How good is that price? Three camels know.

Those who've known me a while will confirm that I'm both detail-oriented and frugal. I use the word "frugal" specifically, rather than other synonyms ("cheap", "thrifty", "miserly", "stingy") because I spend as little on an item as I can, but can be convinced to spend more if the quality warrants it, which it usually doesn't. :)

Now comes the post-Thanksgiving time of year when deals are promoted in front of our eyeballs left and right, in digital and print. However, it is important to stop and ask the question "how good is that price?". I mean, the seller says that it's 75% off, but that doesn't mean that the item was priced reasonably to begin with, or even that this is the best sale that's come along. Look across the sea of racks at a clothing retailer like Kohl's, and you'll notice that nearly every rack has a "SALE" tag above it:

If everything is on SALE, then is it really a SALE
or do they just want a SALE?

Typically, we'll compare a retailer's current price with an online retailer (like amazon) to see how good the deal is. But this just compares the online price today with the retailer price today. When amazon advertises an item at 40% or 50% off, is it really a good deal?

This is where historical price comparison plays a powerful role. I use a site called CamelCamelCamel.com, which keeps track of the price of every item on amazon each day, so you can look back to see how good today's sale really is. This lets you distinguish a run-of-the-mill sale from a best-price-ever sale.

Let's look at an example. If we look up this Laser Thermometer gun, it shows the current price is $12.49 and is 31% off of the regular price. However, if we paste the item number or link into CamelCamelCamel, then it brings up this page:

Not only is the item not at a historical low, but the price has been relatively constant since April. The 3rd party seller price has actually been lower for months than amazon's current price. No rush to buy. Whew.

Compare that with a Nikon camera bundle which shows the current price as $499 and 50% off of the regular price. If we paste that item into CamelCamelCamel, it shows us that today is the lowest price the item has ever been. Not only that, but the price drop occurred today:

I've found CamelCamelCamel very useful (enough to give them a free plug) in letting me know when to rush and when to wait.

Another useful feature is price tracking. If you don't want to buy the item until it drops below a specific price, you can enter your target price and CamelCamelCamel will notify you when the item drops below your threshold. Last year I used this to buy a Seinfeld DVD set for $60, when the price fluctuated around $80. An added benefit is that this gives you time to think how much something is really worth, and whether you really need it at all.

I hope this helps some of my fellow shoppers save some money or gives them time to think whether they really need to splurge on the SALE that's staring them in the face. If you sense yourself feeling stressed or rushed to spend money, that's not a healthy condition. It's just stuff: you lived fine without it prior to this point. Some day it will be out of style, or sitting at a yard sale, break down, or wear out. Retailers (amazon included) want you to spend and consume, but that's their job. They care nothing about your mental health or moral well-being. Practice patience and prudence.

 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

- Matthew 6:19-21

 “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 

- Hebrews 13:5 

Settled in Kentucky

Alisha and I have completed our cross-country move to Kentucky. When I say "completed" I mean that we are here and our stuff is here, but we still have much to do before we feel at home again.

Since our boxes arrived a week ago and filled up every room in the house, Alisha has been feverishly trying to make sense of the kitchen. While she has been bringing order to that part of the house, I've been bringing the master bedroom and bath into extreme disorder for a renovation.

We started the bedroom remodel by removing the wood paneling and drywall, which went as expected. However, when we reached the heavily-tiled bathroom we found out that they'd used 1.5" of concrete/mortar supported by metal mesh behind every single tile. In the non-tiled portions of the bathroom they used two layers of drywall to match the thickness. My dad attributed this to the original owner being a doctor/dentist, and he said that doctors will typically ask for industrial-level construction in their residences.

This resulted in an incredibly stubborn removal process. Using a combination of pry bars, a hammer, a sledgehammer, and vicious wrath we were able to get the bathroom down to bare studs. A final surprise was a lead shower pan, which we carefully removed. I had never seen real lead before. If it wasn't so poisonous, it would be neat to play with.

After we get our bedroom workable, we're hoping that we'll feel much more at home. Presently, it feels a little like camping since we're sleeping on the living room floor, washing our clothes at a neighbor's house, and living out of a suitcase.  We are thankful to be able to cook with our own pans and sit on our own couch, which is a luxury we didn't appreciate before the move.

Our view of the wildlife

6 months old

Dottie recently turned 6 months old. She has become much less fussy now that Alisha has her on a regulated sleeping schedule. Each morning I'll usually wake up to her talking or making sounds to herself like this:

Then after work, I'll come home just after she's woken from her final nap of the day. She'll stay awake for a 2-hour stretch and then we'll have bathtime, get her dressed, read a little bit, and then say a prayer before bed. Dottie especially likes bathtime, where she'll kick the water with her feet and splash it with her hands. She likes to watch the water spill from a cup or drip from a rag. I'm not sure what she'll do later in life, but I wouldn't be surprised if it had to do with water.

Alisha takes pictures of Dottie each month on her "birthday". This month a few of the pictures were baseball-themed, maybe to hang up in my new office. These were a few she sent, which I think are a good representation of the cuteness and turmoil you experience as the dad of a 6-month old:

... I know this face very well.

Next we'll work on feeding Dottie solid food and getting her to sit herself up or crawl. Fun and stressful times are ahead!

Moving to London

Alisha and I will soon be moving to London:

... no, not that London. We'll be moving to this London:

London, Kentucky

We visited the area in May 2015, to see my sister and her family who moved there several years ago. It was our first (and only) visit. Alisha and I discussed how we liked the area and people, then gradually that discussion migrated to one about possibly relocating. My employer (Hewlett-Packard Enterprise) said that they'd be willing to keep me on as a remote employee. We found a house in the same neighborhood as my family and some friends through church, then finally closed after 5 months of negotiations.

The house we chose sits on a little over 4 acres with half of a pond, but it is located in a suburb and close to the freeway:

The house was built in the late 1960's, so we will be doing some remodeling to give it a more modern aesthetic. My dad moved there recently and he will be doing many of the repairs, with me helping complete the easier work. Our real excitement is about the outside space, which we've been told is a park-like setting. Just about everyone on my side of the family has seen the house in person, except me. An additional benefit is that we will be 50% closer to Alisha's family in Texas, now only a long days' drive instead of 2-3 days.

The closer proximity to Alisha's family, country living, and friends/family in the neighborhood were benefits that drove us to make this big move. As someone who likes consistency, there will be many adjustments that I'll have to make as this move unfolds. We will also dearly miss our family and friends here on the west coast. We are hoping that this will give the best spiritual outcome for myself, Alisha, Dottie, and any future children that God blesses us with.

3 months and counting ...

Dottie has now passed the 3-month mark. Time seems like it has gone quickly, yet simultaneously seems like it's been a year since she was born. Her crying and wailing have decreased as her blabbering and smiling have gotten more frequent. In the mornings, she'll regularly smile and talk back to whoever will listen (although right now it's just Alisha and I).

She likes talking to a special pillow of ours. Of course living in Alisha's house, we happen to have a black & white pillow with polka dots on it. That high-contrast makes for some interesting conversation:

Her head stability has improved, so now she's able to hold her head mostly steady without my assistance. She'll still flop it aimlessly now and then, but mostly she can direct her gaze up-and-down or side-to-side to follow whatever object has caught her attention (usually a ceiling fan).

Within the past week, Dottie has also let out the occasional laugh. If the mood strikes her, she'll laugh like this. We caught her doing this at our yard sale last weekend:

Morning Conversation

We are starting to get some "coo" noises out of Dottie. They only seem to happen at certain times of the day, mainly in the morning. Usually the noises we've been getting are grunts, cries, yells, wails, and screams, so these gentle "coo" noises are fun to hear. Her noises are also fun for us because she will make noises in response to noises we make, which is more progress in her communication.

The video below is a talking session that I captured when she was laying on her changing table near the window, which is one of her favorite places to be in the house. She is just about always happy in that spot ...

Learning to Walk

We had some fun one morning before work, pretending like Dottie was learning to walk. I held her up on the bed and as her feet touched the surface she'd pick the back one up and move it in front of the other. This ended up in a walking motion that's pretty funny to watch:

Walking around the house

Dottie throws fits. We are hoping that her split-second transition from calm to upset is a normal part of being a baby, not an indication that her genetics includes my temper. Once she starts whelping, yelling, or screaming there are several ways to calm her down:

• Bounce up and down in place, or sitting on an exercise ball. She doesn't respond as well to rocking.
• Change her diaper, or at least check it.
• Feed her, if we have any spare milk. Give her to mom if not.

Another option is simply to walk her around the house, because she might be bored. When she gets walked around the house, she gets to see many different visuals. This visual stimulation is sometimes enough to buy us 10-15 minutes while Alisha gets minimal rest or prepares more food for Dottie.

Here's a comparison of what she was like walking around the house at 1-week old:

with a walk we did around the house this morning at just over 6-weeks old:

In addition to being more alert now, she is also more responsive and does some limited cooing (if you catch her at the right time).

The Internet Isn't Real

Artificial Intelligence is a subject I studied in graduate school. I hoped to use in my career, but never have. Artificial intelligence can be thought of as a computer trying to mimic real intelligence. True intelligence has thought processes which consider facts, feelings, circumstances and then chooses an action or response based on those factors. Scientists who work in artificial intelligence attempt to model our thought processes as algorithms in a computer, or at least create an algorithm which will produce the same results that our thought process does. Think of your mind like a box (hopefully not an empty one):

You receive inputs (audio, visual, touch, smell, taste) and give outputs (verbal, written, movement) as responses. Artificial intelligence tries to give the same outputs, without knowing what's really going on inside the box. The computer isn't really thinking, it's just giving the illusion of thought.

Earlier this week, Microsoft released an artificial intelligence bot called Tay on twitter, so that it could learn how to engage in conversation based on how people responded to it. Within 24 hours, the bot had been trained to give racist, sexual, and otherwise inappropriate comments (see the news article here). I say "trained" because algorithms like Tay will only produce results according to how they are trained, and it is the human interaction that trains them. Essentially, Tay became a mirror which shows us what someone can learn from the internet in a 24-hour period.

I'm not someone who is against the internet ... in fact I make my living from it: I work on networking equipment and software at HPE. The internet can be used for very many good things: sending messages of encouragement, spreading the truth, maintaining healthy relationships with remote family and friends, buying cheap stuff, and hopefully this blog. Along with these benefits comes great risk.

Many of us are aware of the dangers that lurk on the internet. These are dangers which exist in real life, but are in many ways amplified and more easily obtained via the internet. These dangers include:

• Pornography
• Child predators
• Falsehood in various forms (like slander)
• Identity theft
• Computer viruses
• Drug trafficking (see Silk Road)
• Cyber warfare (see Stuxnet and Rye Dam)

Instant, worldwide communication makes us more aware of the world's evils, giving rise to a potential callous toward the evils we now commonly see. Evil becomes more commonplace and possibly more accepted. School shootings and terrorist bombings now feel commonplace because we hear about them so frequently from our always-connected society. Worldwide connectivity means that regardless of how evil or misdirected our behaviors and attitudes, we can always find a group of like-minded people who will validate and encourage us to continue down an incorrect path.

One of the most threatening dangers of the internet is that it convinces us it's real. Things on the internet do originate from real people, but the internet is not a reality itself. The more time we spend on the internet, the more we think that ideas and attitudes we find there are what actually matters. The damage comes when we get convinced that those ideas and attitudes are more important than real life. How often have you looked around a room (not a chat room, a real room) and seen everyone consumed by their own view of the internet through their phone screen?

The internet can be an artificial reality. Just as artificial intelligence emulates real intelligence, the internet has emulated reality. We can interact socially with other humans, so it gives the illusion that we have real relationships with real people. We can watch a video, which gives us the illusion that we experienced what that video recorded. However, what you see on the internet is a filtered subset of a real person. To some extent this happens in-person as well, but to a much smaller degree. Many more personal visual queues (facial expression, minor movements, voice tone) give away a hidden meaning that isn't expressed verbally. Ask someone "How is your day?" and you'll invariably hear a response like "Good", even if their face looks worn and stressed. The internet deprives us of these minor queues, so we're left believing that "Good" (or whatever the person chooses to reveal) is the reality.

For example, consider the birth of my daughter, Dottie. I haven't posted details of her repeated crying because she is hungry, bored, or just likes the sound of her own voice. Someone reading the blog would think that she cries very rarely. They might even look at their own baby and wonder why their baby cries so much. That might make this person feel worse about their own baby or themselves, because their baby cries often and mine apparently doesn't. This is a simple example, but it shows how the perceived reality of the internet can have a negative impact on real life.

This concept extends in many destructive forms. Online bullying has caused depression and suicide, because the internet enables anyone to hurl insults and slanderous accusations with no perceived repercussions. Online relationships have destroyed families because an extra-marital relationship shows only positives, with none of the negatives or responsibilities that in-person relationships carry. By tricking ourselves into thinking that the internet constitutes reality, we've given the internet the ability to damage our real lives as much as it can enhance them.

So what is the solution? At this point, it isn't realistic to completely disconnect from the internet. We don't throw out our phone line (or cell phone) because of phone scammers, because phones are still a great communication tool. However, scammers change our perception of phones and how we interact with someone on the other end of the line. We don't throw out our cars because of the possibility of an auto accident, because we value the speedy transportation. Caution and consequences enter our minds when we use these innovations.

In the same way, our perception of internet dangers should change our perception of the internet and how we interact with someone over it. We should realize that the ideas and attitudes we see there are based on reality, but not reality themselves. Just as we teach our children that what they see on TV isn't real, we should teach them that what they see on the internet isn't real either (just don't say that about this blog post, or the world will implode due to the paradox). We are raising a generation of children who will grow up having the internet as an integral part of their lives, meaning that the social habits and skills they develop will be different from our own. A proper perspective toward the internet may make it a little less enjoyable, but isn't that the point?

The devil harms us by convincing us he isn't real, leaving us unprepared to defend against his schemes. The devil destroys us further by convincing us that the internet is real, leaving us saturated in a world that detaches us from reality. What I've referred to as "reality" in this post isn't the true life that the bible refers to, but its yet another curtain of abstraction that makes it difficult for our eyes to see the truth. I encourage us all to see past these curtains and live the life that Christ desires of us.

"In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."
- 1 Timothy 6:19

Mini Me or Mini You?

When Dottie was first born, we immediately started identifying which features looked like me and which looked like Alisha. I had never seen pictures of myself (or Alisha) as an infant, so I assumed that she looked mostly like Alisha. Once we got home, we got out some of my baby pictures and were surprised to find that the upper half of Dottie's face looks strikingly like mine:

 

Left: Shaun in 1977 ... Right: Dottie in 2016

 

Left: Shaun in 1977 ... Right: Dottie in 2016

Dottie's chin is definitely Alisha's, and we're waiting to find out whether she got her lips from mommy or daddy. Alisha is hoping to see dimples soon, but for now Dottie's upper lip looks like Alisha's and the lines on the side of her mouth look like mine.

On the changing table

One of Dottie's favorite places in the house is on her changing table. Several years ago, before Roscoe arrived, Alisha got a refurbished vintage dresser from a photography client. She thought it would make a good changing table, so we've had it since then. On top, we put a curved foam "baby holder" (I'm not sure what the official name is, but it keeps her from rolling off).

Each morning, day, night, midnight, and at other times we bring Dottie to the changing table for her own "refurbishing". Sometimes it's a simple diaper swap and sometimes it's a complete wardrobe overhaul, depending upon the damage she has inflicted upon herself. She likes laying on the table and staring out the window, because the blinds make for interesting contrast and our neighbors have a palm tree that blows in the wind.

Often she lays quietly and sweetly like this

... but sometimes she starts her complaining like this

If we don't answer her complaints within 30-60 seconds, she'll ferment these sweet, soft cries into a demanding yell that would make hardened business tyrants give up and move to a cabin in the Yukon.

One month old

Today, Dottie turns one month old. She has visibly grown larger, but we haven't had any doctors' appointments to find out exactly how much. We suspect she is now in the low-to-middle 8lb range.

We've had several rough nights where Dottie would scream in frustration, usually because she wasn't being fed as quickly as she'd like. Alisha saw on the web that there are several growth spurts which occur around the 3-week mark, so we're hoping those were the cause and that this won't be an ongoing issue. I've found that my willingness to put up with screaming directly correlates with how much sleep I've had.

She smiles occasionally, but hasn't started regular cooing. Alisha observed a laugh a few days ago. Now that Alisha's sister and niece are in town we're hoping that the cooing and cute things start kicking in so that she'll enjoy her time with us. We'll post more videos once that starts happening!

The first 3 weeks

Dottie's first 3 weeks have been filled with some high points and low points as Alisha and I adjust to having a newborn at home with us. The first few days were especially hard, while we waited for Alisha's milk supply to match Dottie's hunger level. After learning some feeding techniques and being able to better read Dottie's cues (cries), things are much smoother. I have returned to work, but Alisha still has stressful days filled with crying (from Dottie) and good days where she sleeps and is a "good baby".

Our favorite time is when she is quietly sleeping near us:

This is what it looked like when we first got home and Harper met Dottie for the first time. I still ask Harper "where is Dottie?" and she looks around aimlessly, so she hasn't yet figured out that the name "Dottie" applies to the little thing we've been spending so much time with. At this point I'm not sure whether it will be Harper or Dottie who first realizes what that name refers to.

This is a video from over a week ago, taken when Dottie was waking up and stretching:

She also frequently gets the hiccups, which we've been told is normal:

She is just now starting to "coo", as shown by this video I took this morning on her changing table. She likes talking to the window because the blinds and tree outside have strong contrasts:

We also occasionally feed her from a bottle as a backup mechanism to give Alisha time to rest and to give Dottie the nutrition she needs, if Alisha can't supply it. She feeds well from the bottle (once every few days), but definitely prefers her mommy. She's now up to 8lbs, after having dropped to a low of 6lb 11oz after being born:

Alisha is still recovering from surgery, so we haven't gone on any family walks or done much outside. While her parents are with us, they've worked with my dad to get several major projects done around the house, both outside and inside. Along with the meals we've received, it's been a huge help that lets us focus on our little Dot.

We bribe them with this.

Dottie's Grand Entrance

For the past few months, Alisha has been working toward the final days of Dottie's pregnancy. Today was that final day. Since roughly week 16 of her pregnancy, Alisha has had Braxton-Hicks contractions. These contractions have increased in both frequency and intensity over the past few weeks. Three days ago, the contractions started happening once every 20-30 minutes through the night, leaving Alisha with very little sleep.

Last night on a walk around the neighborhood at 4pm, Alisha's water broke. We hurried home (being slightly rude to our neighbors who made friendly conversation) and the contractions began occurring regularly 11 minutes apart. Alisha kept her doula (Brooke Cozby) updated so she could meet us at the hospital. This lasted several hours, until around 8pm they shortened to 7 minutes apart. We loaded the car and headed off to Kaiser Roseville. By the time Alisha checked in and got her room around 9:30pm, the contractions were occurring every 2-3 minutes. The labor continued like this, increasing intensity for the next 6 hours as we changed positions and talked Alisha through the pain.

These next few hours reinforced how honored I am to be married to Alisha. She went through labor pains for ~11 hours (4pm-3:30am) without any medication to give Dottie the healthiest birth possible. She reached 9cm dilation (where 10 is the point at which she'd push out the baby) and started having feelings to push. The doctors had her climb into the bed (she was in the shower) and then moan through the pain to keep from pushing unnecessarily. She commented that she felt a dull pain in her lower abdomen even after the contractions were over, but we assumed that was just part of the labor process. After several iterations of contractions, Dottie's heartbeat began to drop from 130 to 110 beats per minute. They tried changing positions (hands & knees), but then Dottie's heartbeat dropped further to 60 beats per minute and stayed low. At that point, the doctor called an emergency C-section ("code C").

People swarmed into the room and carted Alisha off to the operating room. Brooke and I had to stay behind, so we just prayed. Within a total time of 7 minutes, the Kaiser staff did ALL of the following:

• Carted Alisha down the hall
• Prepped the operating room
• Had Alisha transition herself from the cart to the operating table
• Used narcotics for paralyzing and numbing Alisha (general anesthesia)
• Intubated Alisha, intubated her
• Cut open Alisha's belly
• Pulled Dottie out safely

To Brooke and I this was frankly astonishing. We finished a relatively short prayer, waited a few minutes, and then a nurse returned to the room to let us know that both Dottie and Alisha were fine. Once again we were glad that we chose Kaiser Roseville, because they had saved Dottie's life, and possibly saved Alisha's (compared to a home birth). Alisha's uterus had ruptured in two different places (one near the site of her prior C-section, another even lower), and Dottie's shoulder and umbilical cord had come through the ruptured locations.

Dottie was born on February 12th, the same day as her great-grandmother, Murry Landrum. She weighed 7.5 lbs and was 20.75 inches long. It took about 45 minutes for them to clean the blood off of Dottie and expel it from her lungs/stomach. Once I got to hold Dottie at 4:15am, it took another 2 hours for Alisha to exit the operating room.

Alisha's surgery needed to occur so quickly that they didn't have time to do normal surgery prep like counting instruments. This meant that the way to double-check they hadn't sewn up any instruments inside Alisha was to use an X-ray. They also said that Alisha lost about 1500cc (or 50 fl oz) of blood during the surgery, so they gave her transfusions to replenish the lost material. She came back groggy and heavily drugged. Several of the doctors commented that Alisha must be tough as nails to reposition herself in bed AND move herself out of the bed, while having a uterus that was ruptured in two places.

Over the course of the day, Alisha came off of the heavy sedation and was able to function more normally. She will be kept at the hospital for 2-3 days while she heals from the surgery and comes off of the heavy painkillers she's currently receiving. Dottie is doing wonderfully. She has been a very quiet baby so far, shows visual curiosity, and is able to recognize both of our voices. While she was in the womb I tried to sing "the ABC's" to her each night, so when I first got to hold her that's what I sang to her to make sure she recognized me.

Here are a few pictures of our new little bundle. One of the doctors (and a few of the nurses) recognized us from our prior stay, so they've come by to introduce themselves to Roscoe's little sister. She is pretty fun to hold!

The doctors warned us that due to Alisha's damaged and thinned uterus, any future pregnancies could not go full term: they would need to be a C-section at no later than 35-36 weeks, and no sooner than 2 years from now.

We'll be at the hospital, likely through Sunday, while Alisha recovers. After that, we'll return home with Dottie and introduce her to her room, our dog, and the joys of being home.