Goodbye, Grandma

Today my grandmother, Lela, passed away after turning 87 on Monday. She had struggled to hold onto life over the past few months, but most especially in the past few days. I wasn't there, but I received frequent text updates about how she was doing. We were all praying for her to be released peacefully from this life, and our prayers were answered around 4:25pm on Thursday.

This is how I remember her

Times like this force me into reflection. They make me re-evaluate what is truly important and significant. On my drive home, the usual radio chatter about finances and political turmoil just seemed ignorant and shallow. How could people talk about such mundane things and pretend like those things are of utter importance?

Over 150,000 people died today (roughly the entire population of Eugene, OR) and still this chatter continues. We go shopping at the mall, share the latest celebrity gossip, and consume TV like gluttons. Once emptied to their essentials, our lives fill back up with meaningless tasks, like dead leaves filling an empty pool. Times like this compel me to refocus on what God wants us to get out of life and what he wants us to put into it.

This isn't to say that my grandmother's death has shaken my worldview. The death of a grandparent is an unhappy moment, but is part of the natural order of life. One day my time will run out as well, and my grandchild will miss me. I just hope that I have a virtuous impact on their life. After all, isn't that what life is about? A life lived in service to our Lord and reflecting his qualities into the world around them is a life lived fully.

My favorite book (especially in times of deep reflection) is Ecclesiastes because in it the writer works out his struggle to identify the meaning of life. Despite the wisdom contained in that book, we try to fill our lives with pleasure (Ecc 2:1-11), work (Ecc 2:18-23), intellect (Ecc 2:12-17), and wealth (Ecc 5:10-16) yet none of them makes us feel as complete as obedience to our Father (Ecc 12:13).

Stop and consider the beauty of this passage, which personifies aging parts of the body (eyes, ears, teeth) as individuals who are weakened in old age (windows dim, doors shut, grinding ones idle):

Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, “I have no delight in them”; before the sun and the light, the moon and the stars are darkened, and clouds return after the rain; in the day that the watchmen of the house tremble, and mighty men stoop, the grinding ones stand idle because they are few, and those who look through windows grow dim; and the doors on the street are shut as the sound of the grinding mill is low, and one will arise at the sound of the bird, and all the daughters of song will sing softly. Furthermore, men are afraid of a high place and of terrors on the road; the almond tree blossoms, the grasshopper drags himself along, and the caperberry is ineffective. For man goes to his eternal home while mourners go about in the street.

- Ecclesiastes 12:1-5  

Losing a grandparent who has virtuously impacted your life is not easy or joyful, but my grief is transformed to joy with the knowledge that death has lost its sting (1 Corinthians 15:55-57). My grandma never got to meet Dottie in person, but I am consoled that she is at peace and hope that somewhere she is hugging a little boy named Roscoe (who was probably playing ball with his great-grandpa Frank). It might look a little like the pictures below of my grandparents holding me as a baby:

 

"So teach us to number our days,

that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.

Do return, O Lord; how long will it be?"

- Psalm 90:12-13